The concept of moving on is beyond subjective. The measure to which one undergoes the “moving on” process can be detailed to many extremes that even go as far as deleting the once adored person from every aspect of one’s life. In the grand scheme of things, this may seem like the easiest and simplest measure to get rid of that one person that you held with so much regard. But the question remains, is this effective in “moving on”?
From my perspective, how is it possibly so easy to let go of someone that once meant everything to you? Building a relationship with someone involves blood, sweat, and tears. It is unfair to one’s self, and equally unfair to the other person involved, to completely obliterate the memories of someone that was once loved. What I can say is that moving on is certainly a process. Let’s be honest. When establishing a relationship and falling in love, we experience a level of vulnerability that requires us to adjust ourselves in ways we never thought were possible. Despite the reason for the breakup, that connection existed. That connection seems to be the highlighted component that one seeks to destroy in their attempt to move on. However, there is significant neglect to considering all the other aspects of that person that allowed you to fall in love from the start.
Suffering a breakup unleashes a multitude of triggers that prevent one from moving on, but rather than basking in the “what if’s” and “what could have been done differently”. The process of moving on can’t be successful without acknowledging the inner workings of one’s self as it relates to the demise of the relationship. Evaluating how you played a part in the downfall of the relationship is the first stepping stone to gaining clarity on what to do next, which is to address your internal issues. We can all think back to moments when we could have said something differently or not reacted in the way that we did. Yet, who wants to face the reality of their imperfections? It’s certainly a tough feat to accomplish. However, if you are at a point where moving on seems to be a constant theme of your everyday trails, perhaps re-evaluating yourself could be the foundation for the process.
No one ever wants to see the end of a relationship, regardless of how good, toxic, satisfying, or detrimental it was. Social relationships are what make us human. Realizing that a relationship that one invested so much time into and sacrificed so much for is over happens to be the part of moving on that seems to be the most difficult. One quote that I can’t seem to shake myself is that “people are in your life for a season or lifetime”. As cliche as it may be, this quote reigns true. If for some reason your relationship has come to an end, I challenge you to, first, identify your shortcomings in the relationship, and then secondly, identify what you should have learned from that season of them being present.
Breakups are never easy, but self-reflection is much harder.

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